Sunday, July 1, 2007

New Vista(s)

Meet my new Dell Inspiron 1505. No, your eyes are not deceiving you. I now have a pink argyle laptop. (Hey, I'm a pink kind of girl who loves to knit.)

Don't worry. Dell hasn't suddenly begun manufacturing argyle laptops. That's a really cool removable laptop skin and I love every single silly inch of it.

Of course the arrival of an innocent new laptop is a bittersweet event. The poor thing doesn't know its days are numbered. I was thinking of hosting a contest (Pick The Day The Laptop Dies! Win Great Prizes!) but I couldn't bring myself to jest about her inevitable demise.

I've decided to keep this one off the internet. It's a dangerous world out there and I want to keep her safe from harm. (I'd better keep her away from parrots too, come to think of it.) (I can't tell you how many parrot-instigated computer disasters I've been through over the years.) (The great tuna salad incident, the time Squirt opened his cage door, flew over to the laptop, and popped off all the keys, iced tea on the keyboard, chewed cords, the list goes on.)

I hereby declare this laptop an Internet Free Zone. It will be used only for writing and other solitary pursuits.

This is my first experience with the Vista OS. It seems pretty good but some things take a little adjustment. I couldn't stand the fact that they hid the RUN feature so I Googled, discovered how to pop it onto the start menu and now I'm a lot happier. Personally I can't see why they abandoned XP. I thought that was pretty close to perfect. God knows it seemed stable, I liked the way it looked, blah blah blah. But for some strange reason Microsoft never pays any attention to my opinion. Go figure.

And don't get me started on the way Microsoft treats you like a common criminal when you foolishly attempt to reinstall Word on a newly installed hard drive and the error messages start popping up. YOU DON'T OWN THIS! YOU CAN'T REGISTER IT! THOSE NUMBERS ARE INVALID! CALL US! BEG FOR FORGIVENESS, LOWLY FOOLISH GIRL WRITER!

I did call. I tried to rein in my testiness but it was there just the same. No, I didn't pirate the software. Yes, it belongs to me. Yes, it's the SAME COMPUTER IT WAS ORIGINALLY ON. The hard drive died, people. I replaced it. Gimme a break, will you? I have the feeling this is a pro forma thing they put you through to put the fear of Bill Gates in you but that's just a guess.

Anyway the Argyle Laptop has come to stay. Here's to a long, happy, and productive life!

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